ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
