she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
