Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
