she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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