i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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