I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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