He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize