Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
