don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
