how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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