I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize