Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
FUCK WHALES
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
