I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
