take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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