At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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