You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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