moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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