What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
