Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
