we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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