So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Randomize
