i would punch a child for taco bell
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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