Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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