just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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