Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
