I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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