i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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