Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
