how can u be prego again
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
