Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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