is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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