But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
