the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
