Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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