he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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