I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize