we have officially lost it.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
