I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
