Do vagina's smell?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My breasts were aching with rage.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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