Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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