its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
