I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
