White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
two words: eviction party
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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