He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
