She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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