i can't believe i had my finger in that
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
