he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
