i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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