therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
