Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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