I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
