I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize