Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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