Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
