I think scott just propositioned me for sex
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Holy shit dude........stairs
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
