I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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