would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Mom said you looked used
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize