i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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