Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
