best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
