she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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