We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
