This girl is more easily done than said...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize