I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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