If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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