You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
