Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
